“Lord, Change Me”

I grew up in an alcoholic home. I married an alcoholic/addict. I’ve had my own issues with alcohol.  Consequently, even though I knew Jesus and had invited Him into my heart, I never thought to trust Him with everything in my life.  So I would pray daily for God to stop my husband from drinking. Then I would try to arrange and control everything to make my wish come true.

It didn’t work. The drinking and drug use continued to worsen. Finally, after several years and at my wits end, I turned my husband over to God—completely. I even spoke to God out loud and said, “I am turning my husband over to You, and by the way, I don’t want him back.” It was if God said, “Thanks for getting out of My way.”

Then I changed my prayer to, Lord, change me. He did, and continues to do so. He calmed my spirit, changed my thinking, and gave me a heart I did not have.

I now know that God is interested in every detail of my life. He is completely trustworthy. I learned that God could, and would, give me peace in the midst of all the turmoil. I could have true joy whether the alcoholic was still drinking or not. I could have a life without bitterness, resentment, or hate toward the alcoholic.

Is life perfect now? NO. But my blessings include a Christian home without drugs and alcohol, a husband and wife who love each other, and a God who keeps growing and changing me through every mistake I make.

I have taken this Bible verse of Philippians 1:6 as my own: “We can have confidence of this very thing, that He who began a good work in us is faithful to complete it unto the day of Christ Jesus.”

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—Written by Yvonne Miller

Yvonne is a member of the Milton Adventist church, and is a nurse and dog trainer.